Recently, my heart was broken, AGAIN, as I sat mesmerized by the story of Yeardly Love, a 22 year old University of Virginia lacrosse player, who was allegedly killed by her ex-boyfriend George Huguely, also 22, who admitted having had a "violent fight" with her. My heart literally squeezed shut at the thought of Yeardly's mother who, I imagine, was traumatized by the horrific news and details of her daughter whose body was found in a pool of blood.
Yeardly is amongst countless young women whom are trapped in the never ending cycle of dating violence-a pandemic that is striking our girls and young women at the highest rate of domestic violence.
As a mother with a daughter whose life was also threatened, not once but twice, in a very abusive relationship, I speak from a place of my own personal journey and struggles. I often wonder, as I imagine most mothers, what it is we can do to shield our daughters from becoming prey to this thing that has taken them hostage. I often imagine what is it that makes our daughters so vulnerable, to not only find themselves in these abusive relationships, but willing to stay... and stay silent.
IF HER WALLS COULD TALK, I would want to peek inside and come to know what lurks beneath, what forces our precious little girls to grow up absent of the will power, confidence, and esteem to fade into the mercy of young men who parade her in ways that annihilates her body, mind and soul.
IF HER WALLS COULD TALK, I would want to glimpse inside and see what is it that she needs to steer clear of anyone or anything that disrespects her, dishonors her, and do a disservice to her very being.
IF HER WALLS COULD TALK, I would want to gaze inside from every corner of the room and come to understand what it is she needs to safeguard her, shield her, protect her and let her know that she is worthy... so very worthy.
Oh, if only HER WALLS COULD TALK . . . I would want to strip it bare of the silence and shame, the secrecy... and encourage her to scream aloud everything that she needs to relieve her of her pain, and make her know that she is courageous, she is beautiful, she deserves better.
It's time that we mothers help our daughters build new walls. Walls that don't cloak her in secrecy and shame. Walls that will be thick enough to protect her, but thin enough to hear her pleas and cries. Walls that will, ultimately, insulate her and give her the tools to paint murals of self confidence, self worth, self esteem and texture and structure strong enough to uphold her life's ceilings.
If only, Her Walls Could Talk . . .
Lydia Y. Marlow is the Founder/Executive Director, Saving Promise, a national grassroots organization with the first of its kind domestic violence awareness brand, to bring about real change and make the issue a national priority. Visit www.savingpromise.us to learn more.
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